Illustration by Boeing
Flight attendants must get tired of making the same announcements and instructions several times a day, so some attendants give them a new twist. Here, from a variety of online sources plus the evidence of my own ears, are some announcements heard (or allegedly heard) on planes:
* There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only six ways out of this airplane.”
* Please turn off all BlackBerries and also blueberries and raspberries.
* You'll find the smoking section on the wing of the aircraft.
* Be sure to take all of your belongings. But if you're going to leave something, make it something we'd enjoy having.
* We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.
* Weather at our destination is 60 degrees with broken clouds, but we'll try to fix them before we arrive.
* We thank you for flying with us, and the next time you get an urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us!
All-in-one summer fun in Waterville Valley, N.H.
In New Hampshire, Waterville Valley Resort's all-inclusive Summer Unlimited package lets visitors to selected accommodations pay one fee for a range of activities. In June, prices start at $37 per person, for a family of four. Included are two hours of mountain biking daily, a ride on Snow's Mountain Chair Lift, unlimited tennis, unlimited use of the White Mountain Athletic Club, unlimited ice skating, daily golf, unlimited transportation, boating on Corcoran's Pond, and gym programs. There are also a-la-carte optional programs.
For more information or reservations, go to www.visitwatervillevalley.com or call 800-GO VALLEY (468-2553).
Fascinating fact
There is one slot machine in metropolitan Las Vegas for every nine residents. The area has about 200,000 slots and approximately 1.8 million people.
Eloise packages at NYC's Plaza Hotel
Do children still read the "Eloise" books. Apparently so, because come June 1, the Plaza Hotel in New York is going to offer Live Like Eloise and Live Like Eloise Slumber Party packages in honor of its most famous and mischievous fictional guest, Kay Thompson’s Eloise. Neither is inexpensive. The Live Like Eloise package includes overnight accommodations in a Deluxe Rose Suite, a complimentary upgrade to the next available suite category at time of booking, a copy of the Eloise book, a Super Duper Sundae from in-room dining, and Eloise postcards with complimentary postage. Rates are from $895 a night. And if you think that's pricey, try the Slumber Party package for up to six guests, which includes overnight accommodations in a Plaza Suite, a copy of Kay Thompson’s "Eloise Guide to Life: or How to Eat, Dress, Travel, Behave and Stay Six Forever" (would that we could), Super Duper Sundaes from in-room dining, Eloise postcards with complimentary postage, and an assortment of Eloise DVD’s accompanied by Eloise’s favorite movie snacks. Rates begin at $3,595 a night.
For details on both packages, click here or call 888-240-7775. For hotel information, visit www.fairmont.com/theplaza.
Ride 'em Elvis: Graceland opens its stables
Beginning today, Graceland in Memphis will open its stables to the public. Elvis, you see, "was happiest when riding horses," says ex-wife Priscilla. Among the equine attractions is Maxc From Maine, age 3, who was rescued from being euthanized, and Sun's Reflection, a relative of Elvis' golden palomino Rising Sun. Elvis Presley's Stable Tour at Graceland costs $8-$15.
For details on this and other Graceland tours, click here.
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