What they say ... and what they actually mean

Photo by the Walt Disney Co.

The July re-launch of the Hall of Presidents attraction at the Magic Kingdom adds an audio-animatronic likeness of President Obama, who will have a speaking role, along with the figures of Washington and Lincoln. Disney World employees do a lot of speaking, too, but some remarks need a "translation."

Years ago, a group of Walt Disney World employees (or "cast members," in Disneyspeak) put together a satirical newsletter that unofficially translated phrases frequently heard around the Magic Kingdom. Here are highlights from the list, which was reprinted in the book "Realityland."

* "We are experiencing technical difficulties."

Something bad just happened.

* "We should be operating again in about an hour."

I have no idea how long it will be.

* "These 3-D glasses will impair your normal vision."

They look goofy if you wear them outside.

* "Excuse us, please."

If you don't move, a one-ton cart will run you over.

* "Yes, I do work here."

What tipped you off, genius? The nametag or the dorky costume?

* "Please remain calm."

It's time to panic. You are all going to die!

Websites' airline-ticket trick upsets a senator

U.S. Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) has introduced legislation to stop online websites from offering service under a major carrier's name and waiting until buyers pay to reveal that a small regional carrier is actually doing the flying. "The airlines are pulling a bait-and-switch, and it could be making flying less safe," Schumer told the Daily News. He cited Expedia and the big airlines' own websites.

A luxury rafting trip for $995 a person

A new four-day Middle Fork of the Salmon Rafting Adventure, beginning Aug. 25, will be offered for $995 per person. The 70-mile trip, from ROW adventures is a one-time event. Rafting will start in Boise and end in Salmon, Idaho. The free-flowing Middle Fork drops 3,000 feet through central Idaho's remote "River of No Return" wilderness. Natural and diverse, the Middle Fork of the Salmon River is one of America's first "Wild and Scenic Rivers" protected by Congress.

Call 800-451-6034 or e-mail info@rowadventures.com. For more about Salmon rafting, click here.

Worth quoting

"Is there anything as horrible as starting on a trip? ... The last moments are earthquake and convulsion."

-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A chance to see the Dead Sea scrolls in Toronto

The Fairmont Royal York is promoting a Dead Sea Scrolls Package that gives preferred access to the newly opened exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum. The package is available seven days a week and includes a night's accommodations, complimentary valet parking for one car, a $25 food and beverage credit and two adult tickets to "Dead Sea Scrolls: Words that Changed the World," with a reserved time. Rates begin at about $205 U.S.

Click here or call 800-441-1414.

And speaking of Toronto ...

Canada's largest city is multicultural indeed, with nearly 47 percent of its population belonging to a visible minority group. To emphasize that, someone decided to do a little Photoshopping on the cover of the city's Summer Fun Guide.

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New Hampshire enters the blogosphere

A new blog, "Karno Trip Picks," is continually updated with the latest travel news from selected New Hampshire-based travel organizations and destinations. These include the Waterville Valley Resort, the White Mountains Attractions organization, the Currier Museum of Art in Manchester, the Cog Railway, the Barnstormer's Theatre in Tamworth, and the M/S Mount Washington cruises on Lake Winnepesaukee. Readers can subscribe via email, via an RSS feed, or follow the feed on Twitter @LkarnoTripPicks.

The blog can be found at http://www.karnotrippicks.com/. The Twitter feed is called "New Hampshire Travel."

Friday's trivia answer

No, Hagatna is not an East European stew. Rather, it's the capital of Guam and one of the American island territory's busiest commercial districts.

Five free attractions that are really worth your while

Many attractions across the country are free simply because that's what they are worth. But others can give you so much fun that you can't put a price on it. Here, from TripAdvisor.com, are five favorite freebies.

* Mallory Square, in Key West, Fla., where you'll find food vendors, acrobats, musicians and a spectacular sunset.

* Garden of the Gods, Colorado Springs, Colo., home to sandstone rock formations and a view of Pike's Peak.

* Cliff Walk, Newport, R.I., a scenic 3 1/2-mile walkway with the ocean on one side and views of the famous Newport mansions on the other.

* Griffith Observatory, Los Angeles, where you can look up at the night sky through a telescope or simply take in the view of Los Angeles and the famous Hollywood sign.

* You've no doubt heard of the above four, but are you familiar with Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Kanab, Utah? There, in the scenic Angel Canyon,  you can volunteer to help with the animals or take a free tour of the grounds.

How's that again?

A shopping bag spotted in Japan proclaims,  "Primitive Cool: collective heterosexual scenario and turn the women red."

It's the early bird that catches Stowe's discount

Vermont's Stowe Mountain Lodge is already getting ready for snow.  For those who can't wait to be the first on the lift, the lodge will offer up to a 20% discount on nightly room rates with its First Tracks package. The offer includes lodging for two in a studio guestroom, 2 two-day ski passes, complimentary ski storage and boot warming. One guest per booking will also receive a Royal Foot Treatment at The Spa at Stowe Mountain Lodge --  a 25-minute wrap, scrub and massage for the feet and lower legs. The package is valid for visits between Nov. 28 and Dec. 18, with rates starting at $329 per night (This represents up to a 25% discount off best available rates).  A two-night minimum stay is required for  this package, which must be booked by Aug. 31.

Visit  www.stowemountainlodge.com or call 888-4-STOWE-VT, and refer to booking code FIRSTTRACKS.  

Meanwhile, Sunday River is all set for summer

Sunday River in Newry, Maine,   shifts   into its summer mode with the opening of the Sunday River Mountain Bike Park and the start of the resort’s summer activity calendar. Additional summer activities for guests include golf and guided or unguided ATV/Ranger rides, fly fishing, mineralogy and canoe/kayaking tours. New this summer is the Chondola for scenic rides and mountain bike transport and 6 new miles of mountain bike terrain for beginners and intermediates.   The $7.2 million Chondola -- part gondola and part chairlift -- gives a seven- minute ride to North Peak where the resort’s system of mountain bike and hiking trails branch from.  The eight-person gondola cabins are reserved for pedestrians, while the six-person chairs are  for mountain bike transport. Mountain bike adult all-day tickets with Chondola access are $27; trail-access-only tickets are $10. Roundtrip Chondola rides are $8 (ages 5 and under ride  free).

Guided tours (ATV/Ranger, fly-fishing, mineralogy and canoe/kayaking) can be booked seven days a week by calling 800-543-2754. For more information on Sunday River, visit www.sundayriver.com or call 207-842-5234.

Trivial question

Where would you find Hagatna? Answer Monday.

Relax ... even if you're lost on the drive

Steve Halpern's CD "Drive Time RX" has relaxation suggestions encoded so softly in his music that the listener can't hear them, but the subconscious does, and will respond. At least that's the theory behind the recording artist's latest effort. So when you're totally lost while driving to your vacation destination, you might want to pop this disc into the CD player.

The CD is available at www.innerpeacemusic.com and Amazon.com, among other places.

 Fascinating fact

Smokey the Bear, that indefatigable fighter of forest fires, has his own ZIP code: 20252.

Budget vacations from Appalachian Mountain Club

The Appalachian Mountain Club  (AMC) is offering summer vacations for every budget, from free naturalist activities for day trippers to all-inclusive, five-night vacations for a family of four under $1,500. Three-night values for two include camping trips under $100, shore-side private cabin retreats in the Maine Woods for $300, and lodge-to-hut hiking under $500. Everyone is welcome, and AMC members get additional discounts.  The destinations are in New Hampshire, Maine and New Jersey.

   For details, click here.