What they say ... and what they actually mean

Photo by the Walt Disney Co.

The July re-launch of the Hall of Presidents attraction at the Magic Kingdom adds an audio-animatronic likeness of President Obama, who will have a speaking role, along with the figures of Washington and Lincoln. Disney World employees do a lot of speaking, too, but some remarks need a "translation."

Years ago, a group of Walt Disney World employees (or "cast members," in Disneyspeak) put together a satirical newsletter that unofficially translated phrases frequently heard around the Magic Kingdom. Here are highlights from the list, which was reprinted in the book "Realityland."

* "We are experiencing technical difficulties."

Something bad just happened.

* "We should be operating again in about an hour."

I have no idea how long it will be.

* "These 3-D glasses will impair your normal vision."

They look goofy if you wear them outside.

* "Excuse us, please."

If you don't move, a one-ton cart will run you over.

* "Yes, I do work here."

What tipped you off, genius? The nametag or the dorky costume?

* "Please remain calm."

It's time to panic. You are all going to die!

Websites' airline-ticket trick upsets a senator

U.S. Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) has introduced legislation to stop online websites from offering service under a major carrier's name and waiting until buyers pay to reveal that a small regional carrier is actually doing the flying. "The airlines are pulling a bait-and-switch, and it could be making flying less safe," Schumer told the Daily News. He cited Expedia and the big airlines' own websites.

A luxury rafting trip for $995 a person

A new four-day Middle Fork of the Salmon Rafting Adventure, beginning Aug. 25, will be offered for $995 per person. The 70-mile trip, from ROW adventures is a one-time event. Rafting will start in Boise and end in Salmon, Idaho. The free-flowing Middle Fork drops 3,000 feet through central Idaho's remote "River of No Return" wilderness. Natural and diverse, the Middle Fork of the Salmon River is one of America's first "Wild and Scenic Rivers" protected by Congress.

Call 800-451-6034 or e-mail info@rowadventures.com. For more about Salmon rafting, click here.

Worth quoting

"Is there anything as horrible as starting on a trip? ... The last moments are earthquake and convulsion."

-- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A chance to see the Dead Sea scrolls in Toronto

The Fairmont Royal York is promoting a Dead Sea Scrolls Package that gives preferred access to the newly opened exhibit at the Royal Ontario Museum. The package is available seven days a week and includes a night's accommodations, complimentary valet parking for one car, a $25 food and beverage credit and two adult tickets to "Dead Sea Scrolls: Words that Changed the World," with a reserved time. Rates begin at about $205 U.S.

Click here or call 800-441-1414.

And speaking of Toronto ...

Canada's largest city is multicultural indeed, with nearly 47 percent of its population belonging to a visible minority group. To emphasize that, someone decided to do a little Photoshopping on the cover of the city's Summer Fun Guide.

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New Hampshire enters the blogosphere

A new blog, "Karno Trip Picks," is continually updated with the latest travel news from selected New Hampshire-based travel organizations and destinations. These include the Waterville Valley Resort, the White Mountains Attractions organization, the Currier Museum of Art in Manchester, the Cog Railway, the Barnstormer's Theatre in Tamworth, and the M/S Mount Washington cruises on Lake Winnepesaukee. Readers can subscribe via email, via an RSS feed, or follow the feed on Twitter @LkarnoTripPicks.

The blog can be found at http://www.karnotrippicks.com/. The Twitter feed is called "New Hampshire Travel."

Friday's trivia answer

No, Hagatna is not an East European stew. Rather, it's the capital of Guam and one of the American island territory's busiest commercial districts.

These questions have a kind of magic all their own

Photo by Walt Disney Co.

There's nothing temporary about the Contemporary Resort, near the Magic Kingdom.

Guests at Disney's Magic Kingdom sometimes ask the strangest questions. Here, from the book "Realityland: True-Life Adventures at Walt Disney World," are some of the questions that give a new meaning to the term "no-brainer":

* "Are you part of the scenery or do you work here?"

* "When will they tear down the Temporary Hotel and build a permanent one?" [Er, the hotel's name is actually the Contemporary.]

* "Is this bus going to the Polyester Hotel?" [Er, that's the Polynesian.]

* "This place cost over 400 million? Do you have any idea what that is in dollars and cents?"

* Is that the Fairy Godfather's Castle?

* "Just look at the water on that lake!"

* And, my favorite: "Can you show me the way to Toilet Land?"

Fourth of July will sizzle in Chicago ...

Chicago will be an excellent place to spend the Fourth of July weekend, with lakefront fireworks on both July 3 and July 4, the annual Taste of Chicago dining event and many fun and free family activities such as the Lincoln Park Zoo, Millennium Park, and Buckingham Fountain. For those who want to stay in style, the Four Seasons Hotel Chicago, steps from Lake Michigan, and scenic Lake Michigan – has an Experience More package that sort of pays you to stay. Guests get a $100 to $200 room credit per night, based on room category, The credit brings room rates down to a starting point of $295 per night . Still not inexpensive, but this is the Four Seasons after all.

Call 312-280-8400 or click here.

... and sparkle in New Hampshire

New Hampshire's Waterville Valley Resort will have an old-fashioned New England Fourth of July with a town-wide parade on Sunday, July 4, a free outdoor concert and a fireworks display over Corcoran's Pond. And on July 3 at Packard's Field, there will be games, crafts, a 100-foot obstacle course, fireman's BBQ, band and dunk tank. A holiday deal: two nights' lodging, parade flags at check-in, a free glow necklace, and a host of included activities. Prices start at $46 per person per night, quadruple occupancy.

Go to www.visitwatervillevalley.com or call 800-GO-VALLEY.

Worth quoting

“Don’t tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you traveled.”

-- Mohammed

Fall trip prices are expected to jump

With many airlines expected to cut capacity later this year, Travelocity.com says consumers are likely to see price increases as early as fall, making trips this summer a relative bargain. A Travelocity report shows average domestic airfare is $299, down 17 percent from last summer, and the average price of hotels is $142 per night, a decrease of 14 percent. For a family of four, that represents a savings of $374 on accommodations and airfare for an average six-night domestic summer vacation. Similarly, with both average international hotel rates ($197) and airfare ($690) down 14 percent compared to last year, a family of four can save an average of $847 on airfare and hotel for a typical 13-night international vacation.

Time for a (very small) chuckle

A sobbing hotel guest phoned the front desk to say she couldn't get out of her room. "I don't understand," said the clerk. "Why not?"

"Well, the guest said, "there are only three doors in here. One is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Vermont luxury lodge offers a deal for its birthday

Vermont's Stowe Mountain Lodge is celebrating its first birthday with a package with a package deal that is good through Sept. 30, but must be booked between 12:01am on Sunday, June 21, and Tuesday, June 23. A rate of $299 per night to include a choice of one a 50-minute pure results facial, a 50-minute massage of your choice, a 50-minute body treatment. a three-course dinner for one plus wine pairings, a one-hour guided hike followed by a royal foot treatment in the spa or a $100 gift card to be used in Stowe Mountain Lodge's retail shops. This represents a 30-50 percent discount, and although there are blackout dates, there is still room for July 4 weekend.

Visit www.stowemountainlodge.com or call 888-4-STOWE-VT and refer to booking code BIRTHDAY.

Answer to Friday's trivia question

The United States and Canada are the two countries that border three oceans -- the Atlantic, Pacific and Arctic.